Today is the official day for the release of my book "the butler speaks!" Stay with me next week while I keep you all informed on my media tour across the country!
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
What is Publishers Weekly saying?
I was recently given a copy of what Publishers Weekly is saying after they did a brief book review. Are you ready? Here we go and don't forget to let me know what YOU think. Available April 23rd in a bookstore near you.
The Butler Speaks: A Return to Proper Etiquette, Stylish Entertaining and the Art of Good Housekeeping
Charles MacPherson
Appetite/Random House of Canada, U.S.$27.95 Can. $29.95 ISBN 978-0-449-0151-9
This definitive work fairly oozes the polish and poise of proper butlering, etiquette and household management. MacPherson (founder of Charles MacPherson Associates), neatly lays out the fundamentals of his business into five sections. Part one covers the oddly fascinating history of the service industry, including tidbits such as a footmen’s typical pay scale—based on height and good looks, not competence. Part two sets the etiquette standards with butlering how-tos and dos and don’ts. This is the part that will turn your brewed tea into an art form and your introductions into a statement about your pedigree, real or not. Part three is all about throwing the ultimate shebang, complete with the requisite cutlery, dishes, and glasses. Illustrations ensure you never use a three-tined dessert fork for your salad again. Mothers will appreciate part four, in which MacPherson exhorts readers not to put their elbows on the table, among other rules of table manners. A yearly cleaning calendar is just one aspect of the art of housekeeping discussed in part five. With wit and panache, MacPherson jams in reams of tips that will have you cultured in no time. Agent: Dan Mozersky. U.S and Canadian distribution: Random House. (Apr.)
Monday, February 25, 2013
What do you call a former Pope?
As some of you may be aware, I am a proud member of the Protocol and Diplomacy International - Protocol Officers Association. This article appeared two weeks ago in their weekly members newsletter and was written by our President Mr. Chris Young and I thought it was really interesting. I look forward to your thoughts as always.
Of all the protocol questions surrounding such a remarkable story, this one is perhaps the most enigmatic at the moment. The simplest answer is that we will have to wait and see. Ultimately, the incoming pontiff will decide what title, style, dignity and even name Benedict XVI may use.
To answer this question more fully, I consulted PDI-POA's vice president of marketing and communications and one of the world's most renowned experts in this arena, Mr. Robert Hickey. Robert is the author of the acclaimed Honor & Respect: The Official Guide to Names, Titles, and Forms of Address, which should be one of the first books to fill any protocol professional's library.
In the book, Robert notes the pope's full and formal title: His Holiness The Pope, Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Patriarch of the West, Primate of Italy, Archbishop of Metropolitan of the Roman Province, Sovereign of the State of Vatican City, and Servant of the Servants of God.
The secret to what we may call Benedict XVI on 1 March may lie in his full formal title, which we assume to run with the office and not with the person. Robert stresses what we often say about any office where only one person can hold it at a given time. The Pope is the Pope. How can there be two Supreme Pontiffs of the Universal Church? How can there be two Sovereigns of Vatican City? There cannot. That defies logic. There is no more room for two popes in the Catholic Church than there is for two presidents in the United States, two prime ministers in the Japan or two queens in the United Kingdom.
One option would be for him to revert to his pre-papacy title and name: His Eminence Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger. Presumably his elevation to the rank of cardinal, bestowed years ago by Blessed John Paul II, was personal in nature, and thus one he retains and to which he may now return. (An analog would be Colin Powell, who, upon leaving his service as Secretary of State returned to his personal rank of General Powell.)
Or, since the Pope is also the Bishop of Rome, he could follow the same tradition as retired prelates and be called His Eminence The Bishop Emeritus of Rome. This seems much more likely than Pope Emeritus. And, in fact, Rev. Lombardi indicated in a press conference that the Pope was likely to take some sort of emeritus title.
In either of these scenarios, the Vatican will face an interesting question of precedence. Where does a former pontiff rank on its list? Given his age alone, 85, Benedict would likely be quite high among the seniority list within the College of Cardinals. However, if he were not the senior-most cardinal, either by age or position and portfolio, does he get a "post-pontifical boost" to rank just under the new pope, so that he would be primus inter pares, a cardinal who is first among equals?
And then, Robert raises a question that cuts protocol with the sharp sword of religion and spirituality: In Catholicism, the Pope "is infallible in matters of faith and morals." Given that, "it seems hard to believe he'd be lowered from this highest of all statuses once he got there..." But, in practice, that seems to be the certain course: on 28 February, he is supreme; on 1 March, he is not. Perhaps that question is better left with the curia and the theologians. Or perhaps it is better left to Benedict himself. Watch carefully at the Installation Mass in late March and see if the former pope sits among the retired cardinals and, at the appropriate time, rises, walks to the throne of the new pontiff and pledges his allegiance... by kissing the ring he once wore. That might be all the answer you need.
The Vatican tacitly acknowledges that this is an issue but has not yet tendered the answer. As Robert summarizes, "Since the Church has not had someone of his 'soon-to-be-established rank,' the courtesies are undefined."
This story is certain to produce more lessons for us in the coming weeks, months and years. For instance, what happens when Benedict ultimately dies? Is his funeral Mass celebrated as if he were merely a cardinal or a former pontiff?
Friday, December 7, 2012
Be Unlike Bridget
Be unlike Bridget: Etiquette for the season
Photograph by: Screengrab , YouTube/Bridget Jones' Diary
Marching
into the holiday season armed only with the advice to “not drink too
much at the office Christmas party” does you no favours. There are many
more things to be mindful of while socializing with colleagues, a group
of friends or even your own family.
To provide you a better defense against etiquette injustice we turned to civility expert, Charles MacPherson, owner of Charles MacPherson Academy, the only accredited school in North America for Butlers and Household Managers, for some pointers to help you maintain your reputation (and dignity!) this season and beyond the holidays.
Because the holidays offer opportunities to mingle in company you might seldom see, knowing good conversation starters, and the ones to avoid, will help you get off on the right foot, whether you’re meeting somebody for the first time or rekindling an old friendship.
Generally, keep politics, religion and careers off the table too. Comments like, “thank God the Democrats won!” even if that’s how you feel and assume they do too, can ignite unwelcome debate - says Charles, “These questions may open a Pandora’s box of emotions that are not appropriate at a social gathering”.
But also, be mindful when asking questions of a more personal nature. People are especially sensitive to those questions with more judgmental connotations. Asking someone if they’re still single is an obvious no-no (we all remember that Bridget Jones dinner scene!) Also, questions like “How is the job search going?” or “Is your divorce over and final yet?” are never appropriate.
Instead, MacPherson recommends preparing your conversation well in advance, soaking up days’ worth of lighter current events before visiting. Other than starting with the boring ole adage of the weather, reading the newspaper for several days before you attend a party will give you plenty of topic areas to choose from, and witty replies to someone’s else’s comments.
You could also start a conversation by commenting on an item you like in your host’s home, like “I love that painting! Who is the artist?” The point is to pick a positive topic on neutral ground, which is more factual than personal or subjective. After all, good conversation is an art.
If you’re hosting a dinner party and you’ve invited your whole slew of friends, despite a couple of them having a less-than-positive history with one another, you shoulder even more responsibility for how things proceed. How do you set up the table? For the seating arrangement MacPherson advises that there absolutely is protocol to follow, known as a “pecking order” or “order of preference”.
At a more formal event, this is often decided by rank of importance (read: wealth) but as the host of a house gathering, you need to take it upon yourself to seat people where conversation will flow easily, like gravy on mashed potatoes. Consider what your guests have in common, what they could discuss, and how they could contribute to their end of the table. Don’t put all the rollicking extroverts on one end and the introverts on the other!
For those two who have shared ill words in the past, avoid stress lingering over the whole table and seat them far apart, while giving them each the same rank and respect in the pecking order. In other words, avoid keeping one at the main table and suggesting the other joins the kids – that would be plain rude.
Finally, as the host try to prepare everything well in advance so you’re yourself at your most sparkling and relaxed. A frazzled host can create a bristled atmosphere. Provide yourself with a few safety nets; easier courses that won’t keep you in the kitchen the whole time, plenty of nibbles to sate guests before the meal, and – of course – keep the beverages flowing… With the right preparation, both you and your guests will be merry and bright!
Stay classy, Canada!
For more tips on etiquette, check out Charles MacPherson on CTV’s The Marilyn Denis Show every Monday, or visit his website at www.charlesmacpherson.com.
To provide you a better defense against etiquette injustice we turned to civility expert, Charles MacPherson, owner of Charles MacPherson Academy, the only accredited school in North America for Butlers and Household Managers, for some pointers to help you maintain your reputation (and dignity!) this season and beyond the holidays.
Because the holidays offer opportunities to mingle in company you might seldom see, knowing good conversation starters, and the ones to avoid, will help you get off on the right foot, whether you’re meeting somebody for the first time or rekindling an old friendship.
Generally, keep politics, religion and careers off the table too. Comments like, “thank God the Democrats won!” even if that’s how you feel and assume they do too, can ignite unwelcome debate - says Charles, “These questions may open a Pandora’s box of emotions that are not appropriate at a social gathering”.
But also, be mindful when asking questions of a more personal nature. People are especially sensitive to those questions with more judgmental connotations. Asking someone if they’re still single is an obvious no-no (we all remember that Bridget Jones dinner scene!) Also, questions like “How is the job search going?” or “Is your divorce over and final yet?” are never appropriate.
Instead, MacPherson recommends preparing your conversation well in advance, soaking up days’ worth of lighter current events before visiting. Other than starting with the boring ole adage of the weather, reading the newspaper for several days before you attend a party will give you plenty of topic areas to choose from, and witty replies to someone’s else’s comments.
You could also start a conversation by commenting on an item you like in your host’s home, like “I love that painting! Who is the artist?” The point is to pick a positive topic on neutral ground, which is more factual than personal or subjective. After all, good conversation is an art.
If you’re hosting a dinner party and you’ve invited your whole slew of friends, despite a couple of them having a less-than-positive history with one another, you shoulder even more responsibility for how things proceed. How do you set up the table? For the seating arrangement MacPherson advises that there absolutely is protocol to follow, known as a “pecking order” or “order of preference”.
At a more formal event, this is often decided by rank of importance (read: wealth) but as the host of a house gathering, you need to take it upon yourself to seat people where conversation will flow easily, like gravy on mashed potatoes. Consider what your guests have in common, what they could discuss, and how they could contribute to their end of the table. Don’t put all the rollicking extroverts on one end and the introverts on the other!
For those two who have shared ill words in the past, avoid stress lingering over the whole table and seat them far apart, while giving them each the same rank and respect in the pecking order. In other words, avoid keeping one at the main table and suggesting the other joins the kids – that would be plain rude.
Finally, as the host try to prepare everything well in advance so you’re yourself at your most sparkling and relaxed. A frazzled host can create a bristled atmosphere. Provide yourself with a few safety nets; easier courses that won’t keep you in the kitchen the whole time, plenty of nibbles to sate guests before the meal, and – of course – keep the beverages flowing… With the right preparation, both you and your guests will be merry and bright!
Stay classy, Canada!
For more tips on etiquette, check out Charles MacPherson on CTV’s The Marilyn Denis Show every Monday, or visit his website at www.charlesmacpherson.com.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Canada's Favourite Butler Charles MacPherson: Gift Ideas For Every Holiday Host and Hostess
I thought you might like to know about this great presentation that I am doing next week.
November-21-12, First Canadian Place Gallery
12:15 PM,1:15 PM
Mind your manners! Canada’s favourite butler and a popular guest on The Marilyn Denis Show, Charles MacPherson will share advice on how to be a gracious guest – from when to arrive at a dinner party to presenting the hostess with a gift. He’ll be showcasing his “Top 10” hostess gifts of the season. The best part? You’ll be able to find all of his gift suggestions right here, in stores in First Canadian Place and the Exchange Tower. Charles will also address the tradition of sending out thank-you notes – when to send, who to send them to and what to write – and, of course, the merits of sending a handwritten versus an email thank-you.
Presented in association with the stores in First Canadian Place and the Exchange
November-21-12, First Canadian Place Gallery
12:15 PM,1:15 PM
Mind your manners! Canada’s favourite butler and a popular guest on The Marilyn Denis Show, Charles MacPherson will share advice on how to be a gracious guest – from when to arrive at a dinner party to presenting the hostess with a gift. He’ll be showcasing his “Top 10” hostess gifts of the season. The best part? You’ll be able to find all of his gift suggestions right here, in stores in First Canadian Place and the Exchange Tower. Charles will also address the tradition of sending out thank-you notes – when to send, who to send them to and what to write – and, of course, the merits of sending a handwritten versus an email thank-you.
Presented in association with the stores in First Canadian Place and the Exchange
Monday, November 12, 2012
Praise for The Butler Speaks
Praise for The Butler Speaks
Charles MacPherson
“Charles the Butler taught me to truly understand what luxury is. He alone deserves the fifth highly coveted luxury hotel star.” —Oliver Cremont, Former Head Butler, Fouquet’s Barrier Hotel, Paris
“All warmth and charm, Charles takes the stuffiness out of butlering. When Charles the Butler speaks, I listen! He presents the ‘old school’ lessons of etiquette, entertaining and housekeeping in a way that everyone can learn. I am proud he is a Master Trainer at my school.” —Pamela Eyring, President, The Protocol School of Washington
“Charles has been my go-to resource for nearly a decade now. His expertise, elegance, and thoughtful tips are an unbeatable combination. I am thrilled that he is sharing his in-depth knowledge with the public in this handy resource." —Benjamen Douglas, Former Household Manager to Morgan Freeman and Myrna Colley-Lee
“One of my favourite guests, Charles the Butler gives great advice on managing your life, loving laundry and pursuing good manners.” —Marilyn Denis, host of The Marilyn Denis show
“The Butler Speaks is your definitive guide to the art of living well, delivered with the wit, charm, style—and simple common sense—that you have come to expect from Charles’ columns in Metro. Keep it handy and you’ll never misstep!” —Charlotte Empey, Editor-in-Chief, Metro English Canada
“In a world where impersonal technology increasingly drives human interaction, Charles MacPherson reminds us just how powerful and dynamic the personal touch can be in our daily lives and how attention to even the smallest of details can give us an edge—whether we live in small studio apartment or entertain in mansions; whether we wish to connect with a few or impress hundreds. The Butler Speaks is a must-have resource, from the corporate executive to the recent university graduate and everyone in between.” —Chris Young, President, Protocol & Diplomacy International, Protocol Officers Association
“Not everyone needs, wants or can afford a butler, but anyone who takes pride in their home and in entertaining their family and friends will find within these pages the tips and tricks that a professional butler uses to define the ultimate standards of a privately staffed house.” —John Robertson, butler to their graces the Duke and Duchess of Northumblerland, Alnwick Castle
Friday, November 9, 2012
Butler’s party favours
For some people, entertaining is a pleasure while for others it is nothing more than a stressful obligation. It’s made even more difficult if you’re designing a space for entertaining in a new luxury condo.
Where to begin? My good friend, Doug Remple, who is a real estate agent, once taught me that when you are buying a new space, “never purchase or plan for the one extreme time of the year.”
This means, if you entertain your entire family of 36 only at Christmas, don’t purchase a home that can seat 36 people perfectly on Dec. 25 because the rest of the year your dining room will feel like a vacant cavernous airplane hangar. There are always ways to deal with those once-a-year occasions to avoid this costly empty space.
Ask yourself how you like to entertain. Do you like to hold formal sit-down dinner parties, casual buffets where people mingle and eat off their laps all over the apartment or are you a cocktail party kind of person? Do you like six or eight people over for an intimate occasion that you personally cook, or does a large crowd with a caterer and wait staff suit your needs? And most important, how often do you like to entertain?
Some families entertain yearly for a specific holiday or birthday, so in these circumstances instead of having a large inventory of dinnerware and space you rarely use, a rental company can supply you with all you will need. This includes tables, chairs, linens, dishes and even candles and napkin rings. This allows you to set up the table in part of a large living room and/or convert the library or great room into a dining room for an evening that will flow perfectly.
Some clients I know who love cooking and entertaining use this as an opportunity to build their dream kitchen. I remember one family in particular that had their caterer/chef Simon Kattar of Toronto’s à la Carte Kitchen design the layout and specify the equipment so that large restaurant pots and pans and cooking trays could all fit in their oven and fridge, thus making catering at the new condominium a breeze. This was a brilliant move on everyone’s part.
Quite interestingly, I had a New York client who loved pizza so much that he had an authentic pizza oven installed in his kitchen and would hire the local pizza boy to come to his Tribeca condo and make professional pies all night for his guests. These ideas are what luxury living should be all about.
The other side of the coin are those who can’t stand cooking. In fact, they will do everything in their power to avoid it.
Moving into a luxury condominium presents the perfect opportunity for change. Luxury condominiums often have a party room that is ideal for entertaining with a caterer and allows you to keep all of the mess out of your personal space, while still entertaining within your building. Some people will invite guests over to view their new apartment and then move to the party room for cocktails, and dinner — truly a perfect solution.
There are additional options to consider when moving into a luxury condominium. Perhaps this is the time that you may wish to stop entertaining the whole family and pass the torch to one of your children and let them take responsibility.
As well, many fine hotels and restaurants are open with special menus for Christmas and other holidays where you can take the entire gang for the dining portion of the holiday. I know many couples who invite guests to their apartment for cocktails and then walk to a nearby restaurant. This is one of the advantages of living downtown.
The next logical question is how much space do you really need? From the butler’s perspective, there are some great little formulas that help you calculate the exact amount of space needed for entertaining and how many guests will comfortably fit within an area.
Cocktail parties in an empty party room require a minimum of six square feet per person, and goes to 10 square feet per person with a stationary bar, and as soon as you have furniture such as couches, coffee tables and such, count a minimum of 12 square feet per person to allow guests to be comfortable and mingle.
‘Sit-down dinners will need an average of 18 square feet per person to accommodate the average dinning table and chairs; 20 square feet per person leaves enough room for people to move around. These formulas are tried and true; there is nothing worse than a space that is too full, making your guests feel uncomfortable.
A few additional formulas that will also help you: The average 60-inch round rental table holds eight formally and 10 as a maximum squeezed in elbow to elbow. The average eight-foot-long and 36-inch wide rental table seats six comfortably and eight as a maximum.
Finally, when entertaining, think about the building and how its amenities can improve your guests’ experience. Is there a doorman and does he require your guest list? If yes, this would allow him and the valet (if included) to greet your guests and allow them entry into your building without having to call and announce each guest individually.
Also consider the number of guest-parking spaces and whether or not you need to advise people of a nearby parking lot.
Entertaining with style, whether you are the consummate or reluctant host/hostess should be a joyful experience, and planning big-picture details as well as the small will help you relax during the event.
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